`With eyes closed and teeth clenched tight, I finally said, "Yes". The second I did, my heart broke and I was shattered.’
These are the words of Kay Warren (the wife of international preacher and writer, Rick Warren) as she reveals the impact of saying 'yes' to God.
Kay Warren at the Bracknell HIV conference. Picture: Clive Mear/Tearfund
The language in her book Dangerous Surrender makes it clear that it was a 'yes' that had to be drawn from her.
The shake-down started as she read an article on the impact of AIDS in Africa.
She was profoundly shocked by what she read.
Kay wrestled with God and asked why He was bothering her – an ordinary American suburban mum - about AIDS and HIV.
Eventually she felt drawn to let her heart engage and said 'yes' to becoming an advocate for those living with HIV.
The `blindfold of apathy, ignorance and complacency’ was pulled from her eyes and she became `filled with sorrow and grief’ .
Saying 'yes' to God doesn’t sound appealing the way Kay describes it, but she is adamant that she wouldn’t turn back now from `an exhilarating, life-altering adventure’.
God has used her ordinariness to make a miracle out of her life.
She now has an international ministry on HIV and AIDS, travelling widely to speak to all kinds of audiences - especially church ones - about why helping those living with the virus is a matter of Christian compassion.
Kay Warren’s story shows that God’s will begins with surrender.
Yet surrender is a dirty word in an age dominated by the demands of the individual for expression, freedom and independence.
But Jesus is clear – if you want life, you must be prepared to lose it.
That means saying 'yes' to Him, living lives obedient to His will, not ours. It means taking up our cross.
Leaving our comfort zone is hard, but Jesus’ offer answers an eternal yearning for a life of meaning and significance.