Alongside praying, fasting and seeking God to change, Pastor Armando also attended Transforming Masculinities workshops run by Tearfund’s local church partner, Acción Médica Integral (AMI) San Lucas. ‘I started to become aware of my attitudes,’ he says. ‘I started to understand the gender role that I was practising and was able to change. God is helping me to improve. I want to improve because we’re not perfect. But we are on the right path.

Transforming Masculinities is a Tearfund programme that encourages positive, healthy behaviour in men and promotes gender equality to more effectively address sexual and gender-based violence.

‘The Lord cleansed me, my heart and my mind. I repented about the way I was treating my children. When my children were five or six years old, I completely changed my character. My children are now grown-up men and women. We appreciate and love each other very much. We talk to each other, we share, we play, we joke and we do everything as a family.’

‘We help people to understand that everyone is equal and that God created them,’ says Prabu Deepan, who helped to develop the Transforming Masculinities. We ask what difference that makes in all our relationships: marriages, communities and in the church. Are we constantly upholding those values? It’s about total transformation.’

Accepting the need to change his life has encouraged Armando to support others to be counter cultural. ‘I can share my experience and recommend that leaders and pastors do the same. God’s eyes are not like human eyes. Those of us who have grown up in a violent, macho, discriminating environment used to see things differently. We believed that men have more authority over women and that men can do whatever they want with women. But in the light of God’s word, we cannot think that.

‘The word of the Lord can transform us. As pastors, because we preach, we have more opportunities to teach this. We can use our example to let others know that God can transform. In his mercy, God uses us as instruments to teach people how to change their behaviour. How to better treat other people: women, girls and children. Everyone.’

This transformation has made a huge difference to Armando’s home life too. ‘I now help my wife more with household chores. I can make the bed, mop the floor, wash clothes and do the dishes. I can even season the food. If women can do it, so can men!’