For 12 years, 40-year-old businessman Ravi* has been a man of faith. Now, every Saturday, he and his wife, Tamanna, and their two daughters attend worship services together as a family.
However, until not too long ago, his way of thinking about gender roles had still been deeply influenced by his upbringing, and included some behaviours that were causing harm to the very people he loves the most, right inside their home.
Ravi explains that, whilst he didn’t understand it at the time, he had been mistreating his wife and daughters. He says he often used words and actions to pressure them into doing what he wanted.
The context Ravi grew up in had taught him to believe that women are inferior to men and incapable of making decisions. The main purpose, and indeed expectation, of a wife, as society had led him to believe, was to bear a son. So, he viewed women more as possessions than individuals. And, he was sad to realise, that is how he had been treating them.
‘Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone’
But then, in February of this year, one of the pastors at Ravi’s church introduced a Tearfund programme* which, quite radically, invited both men and women to engage in discussions on faith, family and equality.
Ravi missed the first session, but then joined the second one and he found that what he heard and experienced was so captivating and profound that he carried on joining the meetings.
His perspective, he tells us, took a drastic shift when he encountered scripture references such as Genesis 1:26–28, Ephesians 5:21–33 and 1 Corinthians 12:12** – all of which are passages highlighting that both male and female were created in the image and likeness of God. Ravi realised that God has appointed not just men, but women as well to rule the earth together, sharing equal responsibilities in managing the family and home.
The sessions transformed Ravi’s mindset.
‘God's word opened my eyes!’ says Ravi. ‘My wife is my equal partner, the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone.
‘This dialogue has strengthened my marriage and deepened my love and responsibility toward my wife and family. I want to do better for them,’ enthuses Ravi.
‘Forgive me, my wife,’ he said, in a public apology he offered to her at a community celebration, ‘for never truly giving you the place you deserve as a wife. I have treated you like a child.’
